I have found the vile kebab thieving rat who stole my extra chilli sauced up gut buster at the rally. It was none other than Gary Clarke.
My sincere apologies to the 86 people i accused of commiting this heanous crime. Had it not been for my massive fat reserves i may not have survived the night without food.
He hardly needed it considering the size of the pie he ate down at the Pilot earlier in the day. Greedy bastad.
In my drunken state i asked for double extra hot chilli sauce on the thing. Just hope that whoever nicked it had a right old dose of the 2 bob bits the next morning .